Most of us embrace apostasy now that we have the title. Being afraid of the word isn't really a thing for most of us, as it's really a badge of honor; a scar that we wear proudly of that which didn't kill us. Each of us found our tipping point and said enough is enough. Few of us have looked back with any real intent of returning. More of us are hoping that those we love are following close behind.
Possibly due to a gross little head cold, the OTC medicines I'm bombarding it with, or just a general lack of sleep, I woke early this morning with the Franz brothers on my mind. It's not uncommon for me to have some random spark of consciousness greet me, but it's usually something more like "a platypus is proof that God approves of recreational drugs."
Maybe I'm bad at the apostasy thing, but I must admit to having never read Crisis of Conscience. Frankly, I started my journey before reading it, and I haven't needed to go back to it for anything other than academic interest. But I'm familiar with the story of the deep rift that it caused among Watchtower leadership, and the brothers Franz. Raymond's split from the Governing Body came after a lifetime of reflection, faithful service, and an admittedly attractive gig. How hard it must have been to walk away from family, and a lifestyle that required very little personal industry to live without relative want.
Irrespective of the integrity of the belief system, being a Witness did surround you with structure. You had no question as to what was expected of you, and what you could expect of others. Yes, we all know about the abysmal handling of child abuse, but those are symptoms of something other than the communal nature of Witnesses. If you went to an assembly of any variety, you didn't worry about who you sat next to, being kicked out of the cool-kids table at lunch, or being outcast because of something so trite as skin color. Say what you will about all their other failings, but your immediate sphere of influence was generally devoid of abject discrimination.
If you went to a quick-build, there was a meal, organized work that was individually not that hard, and people that shared your world view to hang out with for the day. Float trips always had enough beer that you didn't need to bring your own, but rarely did anyone get fall-down drunk, or let you do something that you'd regret later. But the best part was that you never really had to do much thinking or self-evaluation. Being a witness allowed you to coast as long or as far as you wanted without really having to contribute much to the system.
If you knew how to follow rules, being a Witness was a breeze. So, why leave it?
Well, like Raymond Franz, most of us experienced that itch at the back of our minds that told us not everything was as it seemed. It was only when we started asking the right questions that the superficiality of the community became apparent. Pulling back the veil, taking the Red Pill as it were, we had to face the horrifying reality that it was just a bunch of people pretending.
The heavy drinkers that you knew were the same ones you could count on at every event. The people who didn't sit next to you at lunch because of your skin color would do it to others. Everyone has their secret browser history, sex toy drawer, or private video collection. They have substance abuse problems, anger issues, and a long list of buried skeletons. All in all, they're depressingly normal.
You know what the difference is though? They don't talk about it...
Everyone in the congregation actually knows about that drinking problem. In hushed tones, it's been talked about, but never in an open manner that promoted healing. No, the fix for every ill that plagues Witnesses is shame and finger-pointing. The more people that know the secret, the fewer one can face without correcting oneself. Shame will bog them down until the either abandon the thing that no one will discuss, or they walk away from the group. Either way, the group's problem is solved, and no one had to step up.
But that's just how they deal with being victim to one's own vices and proclivities. If you're the victim of an abusive spouse, for example, well just keep that shit to yourself. The congregation benefits most from everyone's unified worship and activity. That means that the family units sit together, no matter what atrocities occur at home. The congregation needs the leadership of that Brother who goes home and beats his wife after a few too many beers. Her bruises and fear are secondary to the spiritual needs of her fellow Witnesses, so she's told to submit and try not to anger her husband.
How is this even a thing?
The bottom line is that it's not a democracy. The individual voice does not matter. The voice of the governed throng does not matter. No, a Witness is just there as a worker bee, which brings me back to my earlier point. Individual ambition is not necessary to be a member. In fact, it helps to have none. There is nothing to prove, other than your willingness to do as you're told.
The world is full of perils and pitfalls. One crisis or another is constantly creeping up. Political upheaval is brimming like an over-full pot set to boil. Managing the emotional and practical burdens of these things makes it quite attractive indeed to sequester oneself from society at large. A small conclave of co-conspirators who check their humanity at the door is easier, even attractive. Everyone agrees that they're part of an exclusive club that rewards people who are morally superior. They enjoy that smugness. It gives them comfort. But it is necessarily devoid of humility and compassion. It doesn't matter what happens to that child or wife behind closed doors. A multitude of abuses can be overlooked so long as they can be kept sufficiently quiet.
And you know what? I get it. Being a person of one, responsible for one's own agency and consequences is a lonely road. Looking into a shared framework and calling bullshit takes guts. More than most will ever have. We are social creatures who desire a troupe with shared aims, and as long as anyone who isn't getting theirs is willing to pretend that God has brought peace and fulfillment, we're willing to pretend as well.
At least, we were...